More Transforming Negative Self-Talk by Steve Andreas

Author:Steve Andreas [Andreas, Steve]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
Published: 0101-01-01T00:00:00+00:00

6. Making Use of a Voice’s Special Abilities

I’d like to begin this chapter with an e-mail that I received from a hypnotherapist in Kansas who read my previous book about changing negative self-talk (S. Andreas, 2012) and made good use of it. It is a lovely example of a way to augment the processes we have discussed so far, to make an even more useful change in a troublesome voice.

I have used some of the techniques you gave us. I followed your instructions to find out whose voice this critical voice was. It was my mother’s voice. She was always very critical of everything I did, and just about everything I said. I tried putting her voice out in front of me about three feet, then to the side three feet, and so on. I liked her over to my left about 15 feet. Her voice is easier to ignore over there. Then I just imagined her sitting on this wooden fence that we used to have in our back yard, sitting in an uncomfortable position, in a straight skirt, just as she used to really do. She would wear straight skirts all the time, even when gardening and raking, or even working in the garage.

I pictured her balancing herself on that wooden fence, holding a clipboard, trying to be involved in all that I do, but not really being able to from over there. To tell you the truth, it was hard to do that, because I always wanted to please her, and I know she would rather be inside me, deciding everything for herself. I used to let her be in there. Of course, I didn’t know I had the choice to easily move her out like this.

I can remember her inside me in high school. I would see everything through her eyes, and wonder if she would approve. I thought it was pretty crazy, so I didn’t talk about it. I assumed that she didn’t approve of my actions, and felt uncomfortable most all the time in those days. When I was older, once she told me she was very proud of me, and I didn’t know what to do with that piece of information; it made me feel as uncomfortable as when she would disapprove. I think in the days she was raising me, they didn’t think much of complimenting kids. I know she told me you were never supposed to tell a little girl that she was pretty, because that would spoil them.

At first after I put her over there on the fence, she still made comments I didn’t need to hear. Then one day I was in the car and needed to remember some things and couldn’t find a pen or anything to write on fast enough. I turned to her in my mind and said, “Mom, will you write this down for me?” She seemed to be delighted to be needed, and kept the notes for me! Soon after that, she just drifted away as a judge.

Download

Copyright Disclaimer:
This site does not store any files on its server. We only index and link to content provided by other sites. Please contact the content providers to delete copyright contents if any and email us, we'll remove relevant links or contents immediately.